Series 1 – Episode 29: Explore toxicity in your relationships – the negative emotions, conflict & toxic behaviours that are the most lethal, poisonous to all relationships. With Julia Seal, learn about the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse & how to apply the neutralizing Antidotes to the poisons that we indulge in at home & work. Learn how to use these to coach yourself with others & to strengthen all your relationships in the run up to Valentine’s Day (Part 1)
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We explore the edgy topic of toxicity – negative emotions and toxic behaviours in our relationships at work, and at home, in the first of a 2-part coaching session with Julia Seal.
Firstly, we look at relationship conflict through the analogy of The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse from Revelations in the Bible, discovering why the top four toxic behaviours of Criticism/Blame, Defensiveness, Stonewalling & Contempt are considered to be the most lethal and poisonous to all relationships; the predictors of divorce, remedial coaching and getting fired.
We bring some lightness to this discussion with a look at Valentine’s Day this week and how you can use the day to reduce and neutralise conflict while bringing some respect and kindness to your most difficult relationships.
By shedding light on what toxins you might be employing yourself in your relationships, we discover how to stop escalating conflict and to stop creating more negativity. Then, we see how Menopause can escalate how we use or experience the toxins.
We meet Dr John Gottman and find out about the most extensive study ever done on marital stability and how we can use these insights to further help us with conflict and toxicity at work. Especially, outlining the Antidotes to neutralise these poisonous behaviours – tools to use when a colleague, employee or even your boss are displaying some of these behaviours.
Lastly, listen to Brittany Spears’ Toxic music while practicing how to move from React to Response mode in your relationship conflict, how to draw on the conscious on-purpose actions to change completely your relationship with toxic emotions and toxic behaviours.
May you be Happy, May you be Free – there is no better time to do this coaching together!
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
- Explore toxicity and conflict in your work and home relationships
- Find out about the 4 most toxic behaviours in your relationships – the predictors of divorce
- Meet the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse and find out why they are so poisonous to your relationships, even to your physical body
- See if you can discover them in those around you and in your own behaviour, especially how they might have escalated during perimenopause and beyond menopause
- Learn about the Antidotes to apply to the poison of toxic behaviour
- Download the best tool to go from Reaction to Response in dealing with toxicity around you
- See how this all fits with Valentine’s Day – and get some ideas of things at work to reduce conflict and build respect and kindness into your working day
USEFUL LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE
- Subscribe & Review
- You can find all the video links on our YouTube playlist for Series 1
- Including Music from the Podcast
- Episode Links
- Valentine’s Day at work – some ideas
- Toxic: by Brittany Spears
- The Gottman Institute
- Book: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
- Book: The Relationship Cure
- Book: 8 Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
- Book: The Science of Trust
- Article: The 4 Horsemen Antidoes
- Insight Series: Coaching your Negative Emotions
- Episode #1.17 – Unhappy is the story of Happy
- Episode #1.18 – Unhappy, what to do about it?
- Episode #1.19 – Coaching your Unhappiness
- Episode #1.20 – Negative Emotions & Emotional Intelligence
- Episode #1.21 – Emotional Immaturity & your Happiness Wisdom
- Episode #1.22 – Happiness is 50:50, always!
- Episode #1.23 – Are you Buffering your happiness away?
- Episode #1.24 – Are you Anti-fragile? Courageous?
- Episode #1.25 – Your next step, Evolution!
- Episode #1.26 – How to FEEL better now!
- Episode #1.26.Q&A – How to FEEL better now!
- Supporting Coaching Tools
- Series 1 Links
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- Individual private coaching with Julia – http://www.happiness-matters.coach
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